People pleasers are LIARS.

People pleasers are (accidental) liars.

They weave a tapestry of good intentions, crafting illusions of agreement to protect the fragile threads of harmony they've spun.

In their desperate desire to paint a reality that keeps others content, they end up creating a web of half-truths and whispered promises, while their own truth remains hidden in the shadows.

The Illusion of Happiness

In a world where empathy and consideration for others are valued traits, it's easy to fall into the trap of people pleasing. On the surface, putting others' needs before your own seems harmless, even admirable because it sounds altruistic, however, beneath this facade of selflessness lies a complex web of emotions and consequences that can have a profound impact on one's mental and emotional well-being.

Self-Abandonment

In their quest to make others happy, people pleasers often neglect their own needs and desires. They become adept at silencing their inner voice, sacrificing personal values and goals in the process. This self-abandonment can lead to a disconnect from one's authentic self, causing inner turmoil and a loss of identity. Over time, the resentment towards themselves for neglecting their own needs can build, eroding their self-esteem and sense of worth.

Boundary Erosion

One of the most significant casualties of people pleasing is the erosion of personal boundaries. People pleasers often struggle to assert themselves, fearing that setting boundaries might upset or disappoint others. This can lead to a cycle of overcommitment, exhaustion, and a sense of being taken advantage of. As a result, relationships become imbalanced, and resentment may brew beneath the surface.

Emotional Toll

Constantly striving to meet others' expectations takes an emotional toll. Suppressing your own feelings and desires can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and even depression. The fear of rejection or disapproval can intensify these negative emotions, leading to a sense of helplessness and emotional exhaustion.

Breaking Free

1) You have to be willing to own your past and everything that’s contributed to this pattern of behavior in yourself. 

2) You have to be willing to be viewed as the villain by others still trapped in a cycle projecting their own thoughts, feelings, and expectations onto you.

3) You have to be willing to learn how to tap into your own integrity and stand your ground. Remember, honesty is genuine compassion and at the heart of unconditional love for self and others. 

If you need help, hit me up. As a former military child, military spouse, and exvangelical, I have been there, done that and even got a degree to explain it all to myself before going on to help thousands break free from the negative effects that come from living your life according to someone else’s rules.