Conflict avoidance = instant gratification

Conflict avoidance is often just instant gratification in disguise.

They're two sides of the same coin - a lack of emotional maturity - which includes a healthy tolerance for being uncomfortable.

It's all too common in those who identify as "people pleasers, empaths, or just 'too nice or forgiving'."

Difficult upbringings that likely included elements of toxic parenting, abuse, extremism in religious beliefs, systemic oppression and more, teach children that:

- they should take what they can get now because they never know when it might go away

- it's safer to "keep the peace"

But in reality, it's like eating food with just a little bit of arsenic on it. You feel like your needs are getting met, especially if you're worried about starving, but you're also slowly dying.

YOU'RE DELAYING YOUR OWN CURE - your goals (e.g., relationships or bodies that feel good all the way around).

Until you learn how to regulate your nervous system to handle being uncomfy, to train your mind to stay focused on your truth, to build the inner discipline for consistency, you're never gonna have the life you say you want.

Your desire for stimulation and security in the immediate, no matter how pathetically small, becomes a prison keeping true satisfaction just outside your self-made bars.

Sure, the person you need to have that tough convo with might get upset. They'll either get over it and you'll now have a better relationship, or they won't, and you'll be free to develop a new one.

But don't lie to yourself. You're not staying SAFE by staying SILENT.

P.S., Need help finding your inner voice and the gumption to use it? Hit me up for a session. I gotchu.