Why you should never trust people pleasers

Some people spend so much time and energy trying to manage others' reactions or even potential reactions that they miss the opportunity brief and direct communication offers. In other words, they create the very drama they fear!

HONESTY IS … genuine compassion.

HONESTY IS … true love.

HONESTY IS … honoring another’s autonomy and right to choose.

HONESTY IS … way less likely to cause drama than beating around the bush.

To be honest is to be free of deceit and sincere. It does NOT need to be "brutal" or abrasive or hurtful in any way to be effective, HOWEVER, you cannot control someone else's reception of your truth.

Just like a gift you offer another, it is not up to you whether they like it or not, appreciate it or not, choose to accept it or not, etc.

If you remind yourself that your intention is to honor them and your relationship (even if it is ending), and allow your words to flow from THAT point, then you will keep your side of the road clean my friend.

Keep it brief, stay on topic, and offer the win/ win for all involved and you might just be surprised at how well it goes over.

Studies show that those who are perceived as being honest, even when it's difficult, are trusted over those who are "nice" but may be perceived to be holding back or trying to put a pretty spin on things. Makes sense, right?

For good examples on what this looks like, I recommend googling the BIFF method (**BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm**).

P.S., If you find yourself struggling to either know what your truth is or how to express it, I gotchu. Hit me up for a session.