Heal my inner child??
The trauma community loves to talk about “healing your inner child” and spiritual cliques promote “shadow work” or healing “generational curses” but few explain why or how.
Dare I say it’s more profitable to keep people coming back to the “experts” thinking they need more fixing than to empower them to move forward?!
You’ve likely heard a lot of talk about “removing your blocks” in order to receive your blessing/ manifestation/ healing. Without any mumbo jumbo, all this really means is that you cannot sustain what your subconscious doesn’t feel “safe to have.”
So if you came from an abusive family, your subconscious might not feel like you can have love without violence, emotional turmoil or someone always leaving. If you were raised in a cult, your subconscious might not believe you can have amazing sex or financial freedom that doesn’t include feeling guilty.
Many chronic struggles (or even psych diagnoses) come from the inner conflict between KNOWING one thing as a rational adult (the conscious awareness/ metacognitive part of you, what the Greeks called a psyche), but FEELING like your brain and body fight you tooth and nail when you go to live it out.
If you resolve the conflict, that which you want (healthy relationship, body image, bank account), is now much more easily obtained.
And I promise, no matter what the kool-aid drinking crew want you to believe, it’s not complicated and doesn’t need to take forever either.
Here’s one way to get started:
1) Sit in a comfy spot and spend some time taking a few deep, centering breaths. Maybe listen to relaxing spa like music with no words, light some smell good stuff like scented candles or incense and allow yourself to let go of whatever is going on today.
2) Imagine yourself at various ages growing up… toddler, elementary school, middle school, high school, college, first sexual relationship etc.
3) Notice what you notice. What memories come back? What thoughts and emotions come with them?
4) Ask yourself, WHAT DID MY YOUNGER SELF NEED?
5) Without editing, say it out loud to a video recorder on your phone or maybe bullet point journal them out.
6) Read or listen to it daily until you feel the emotion shifting. Imagine yourself saying them to yourself as a child.
7) Remind yourself that as an adult, you absolutely get to have all those things.
Forgive anyone attached to these events and emotions, including yourself. From a purely psychological perspective, all this means is you’re releasing them from retribution. They don’t need to know about it, be included, or have any future access to you.
** If you could use some help, hit me up. I specialize in busting through stuck points with power and precision so you can live your best life. **
SAMPLE
I feel like my younger self needed:
TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON OTHERS
- To feel safe knowing all of her physical and emotional needs were met and would continue to be met
- To know she was loved and celebrated for all of her vibrancy and it is safe to be seen
- To know that her thoughts and feelings mattered and were safe with others, that her confidence would be kept
- To know her worth was not tied to how hard she worked nor “biblical principles” that changed depending on the one interpreting them
- To know that she would be deeply loved, cherished, and protected by men, especially her husband
- To know and feel that she is ENOUGH, exactly as she is and she doesn’t need to compete with other women
- To know she’s meant to feel the pop rocks at anything and everything that delights her as often as possible
- To know she’s not responsible for others’ salvation or happiness
- To know she doesn’t need to hold herself back just because others may choose to, consciously or unconsciously
