The Power of Choice: How to Break Free from Either/Or Thinking
Why We Cling to Binary Thinking—And Why It’s a Trap
It is human to crave simplicity. We want quick answers that feel solid, concrete, absolute.
Psychologists and philosophers would say that this is the hallmark of an immature ego—because true growth means learning to tolerate ambiguity.
Governments and religions that cling to absolutes tend to demand obedience. We see them as dangerous.
But what about the smaller, more insidious ways forced binary thinking creeps into our lives?
The ones that make us believe we have to choose between:
✅ Reliability OR romance
✅ Money OR freedom
✅ Passion OR friendship
This isn’t just a mindset problem. It’s an existential limitation that keeps people small.
As writer Brandon Weber puts it:
“The rigid divisions we operate under—left/right, masculine/feminine, good/evil—oversimplify and reduce the wide variances of reality into tidy categories.
Truth is lost in this division.”
So how about it?
What if you gave yourself permission NOT TO CHOOSE JUST ONE?
The Truth About Relationships: Why Settling for One Dimension Kills Desire
I recently saw a viral post from a woman praising her husband for being the kind of man who’s always there. The kind who pays the mortgage, picks up the kids, and doesn’t buy into commercial holidays.
She called it "real, sane, mature love"—the kind that doesn’t need infatuation.
Sure. Love can’t survive on infatuation alone. I’ll give you that.
But as a licensed psychotherapist with thousands of hours sitting with struggling couples, I can tell you this:
A fulfilling relationship won’t survive without infatuation either.
Posts like that typically signal one of two things:
1️⃣ She genuinely doesn’t prioritize romance and that’s fine. Some people don’t need it.
2️⃣ She’s trying to convince herself she doesn’t need it.
Love isn’t just about stability or passion. It’s about both.
You don’t have to choose between a dependable partner and a passionate one.
You don’t have to settle for “at least they do ___ for me.”
You don’t have to sacrifice romance in the name of maturity.
If you’re still dating, this is the time to get clear on what you want.
If you’re in a relationship, this is the time to ask for more.
And if you’re single, for the love of Pete, don’t settle.
The honeymoon phase doesn’t have to end. It can be nourished daily.
You can choose BOTH.
Forced Binary Thinking in Business: How It Limits Your Success
Where does this false either/or thinking show up in business?
Say your client wants X from you, but you know they’d get better results with Y. Or maybe you’re trying to please both investors and your audience.
You don’t have to choose. The most successful businesses find a way to do both.
Right now, companies like OpenAI, Disney, and Paramount are feeling into these tensions.
Will they adapt? Or will they force themselves into a false binary and limit their own growth?
For my entrepreneur and executive clients, this looks like:
✅ Revisiting core values to make sure they’re actually making decisions in alignment.
✅ Expanding their offers instead of following industry norms.
✅ Restructuring their business models to create better results—without working harder.
The best moves in business happen when you stop thinking inside a false dilemma.
What if you trusted your audience to enjoy multiple topics?
What if you allowed yourself to break the mold and build something uniquely yours?
Self-Care & The Illusion of "All or Nothing" Thinking
Binary thinking sneaks into how we treat ourselves, too.
- What if you could love working out, AND not be a slave to the gym?
- What if you could eat clean 80% of the time, AND still enjoy the hell out of indulgence?
- What if you could live minimally, AND still splurge on things that bring you joy?
It’s not just about health, money, or relationships. It’s about everything.
You ALWAYS have choices. Only children, extremists, and the inexperienced believe otherwise.
But only YOU can decide when to liberate yourself from limitation.
Time Won’t Wait, and Neither Should You.
Ready to break free from false limitations and step into your power?
📩 Let’s work together.
Because you were never meant to live inside a binary.
