Sure, you “don’t know what you got until it’s gone,” BUT you also don’t realize you’ve settled until you’ve had even better.
Too many people are so afraid to lose what they “already have” that they will never know how great things could actually be. Their minds whisper fears about the discomfort they would have to go through if they make a change, the possibility of “hurting someone’s feelings,” and the absolutely ridiculous notion of, “what if this is the best I’ll ever have/ things will ever be?”
Here’s a powerful visual to help get you over that normal but completely disempowering BS:
Legend says you don’t have to try to catch and kill a monkey, all you have to do is take a hollowed out gourd chained to a stake in the ground with a small hole in the top and a yummy treat inside.
The secret: The monkey’s hand fits through the hole, but once it grabs the treat, its clenched fist can’t fit back out. Hunters know that most monkeys won’t let go of the food, even as they panic and rage trying to get their fist out.
Illustration: Paul Thurlby for the Guardian
They’re trapped, although not really, because they can easily get their hands out if they’re willing to LET GO and forgo their grape or nut or piece of banana. But because they won’t, the hunters swoop in and capture them.
Ask yourself, what am I missing out on by holding onto this _____ (relationship, job, situation)? Am I REALLY willing to sacrifice my life because I’m unwilling to let go?
What is happening to my body and my peace of mind in the meantime as I internally rage and resent or panic and worry or even succumb to numbness and apathy as a way to acclimate?
If you’re in business, how much money are you potentially leaving on the table to appease shareholders, board members, or a broad audience base that, let’s be honest, tends to be fickle as fuck and doesn’t usually even know what they actually need?
Even in sex, if you aren’t willing to take the risk of exploring and vocalizing what you might be into, you’ll only get the same old same old… and for many men, that can lead to ED and for many women, it prevents orgasm no matter how skilled a lover might be.
And before you accuse me of inciting “the grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome, ask yourself, “Do truly satisfied people go looking for more?” If you can do something to make your current situation better, do so. WTF are you waiting for?
But if you can’t? Do the right thing and bless those currently involved to find the one who will be satisfied with that situation. They deserve better and so do you.
